Spoiling Babies???

A friend of mine has a 7 month old infant in a group care setting. She came over with him the other day and told me that the day care had asked her not to hold him so much on the weekends because she was spoiling him. Apparently he was expecting the teachers to hold him during the day like his mom did when they were at home. She was heartbroken and devastated. She already felt like she wasn’t spending enough time with her son because she had to work, and now the precious little time she did have she wasn’t supposed to hold him? You can see why she was upset. She asked me what to do.

I find it absolutely heartbreaking that a parent would be asked not to hold their baby. Unfortunately this is a common occurrence. It stems from the belief that babies that want to be held a lot are spoiled. But here’s the thing….it’s not possible to spoil a baby until about 9-12 months of age. Before then…babies are just communicating their needs. Being held is just as legitimate of a need as wanting to be fed, wanting to be changed, or needing to sleep. Human touch is fundamental for development and survival, and helps to establish a secure attachment to caring adults.

During the first 9-12 months of life, children are in the sensorimotor modulation stage of self regulation. This means that they really don’t have any prior intentions in their behavior, and they don’t yet understand the meaning of a situation. Infants react to things that the caregiver does, but they are not able to reflect on the action, the meaning, or the consequence at all. All of their actions are doing one of four things:

  • Engaging in voluntary motor acts – learning how to move their bodies in different ways in the outside world
  • Learning about cause and effect – every thing is a new experience for them…they are figuring out how things work
  • Exploring their environment – this is a brand new world and it’s exciting to see what’s out there!
  • Trying to get their needs met – they can’t use words to tell you what they need, and they haven’t always developed enough mechanisms to be able to self-soothe all the time

Since their have no prior intention or awareness, their desire to be held is not manipulative. In an way. In fact, infants need to be held a lot to develop a sense of trust, which is critical to healthy development. Science agrees with this. You simply cannot spoil a baby.

So what about the baby that comes to child care on Monday crying to be held, but by Wednesday has stopped? It’s simple. He’s just learned that his cries for help aren’t answered so there’s no point in trying. If you ask me, that’s a sad place for a little baby to be. I know that in a group care setting it may be impossible to hold a baby as much as they might be held at home. So what’s the answer? You do the best that you can at meeting EACH child’s needs. And you talk to the child to let the child know that you will be there as soon as you can….that they aren’t alone….that you haven’t forgotten about him.

So my answer to my friend? Hold your baby as much as you want to. That’s what he needs, and that’s what’s healthy.

The Process of Art: What Do I Say?

Guest Blog by Jacki Leader

“You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.”

Maya Angelou

Our field has come a long way in what we consider art for young children. In the past, the art tended to be cookie cutter models, with each child’s art project looking near identical to their classmates.  As I work with teachers and visit early childhood classrooms, I have seen more and more process-oriented art and less art that looks cookie cutter perfect. I love this shift in what I am seeing.  I have worked with many teachers to help them understand that the process of doing the art is more important than the end product, and on how to develop process-oriented art experiences.  This process-oriented art increases creativity and problem solving in young children.

While many teachers have embraced this shift to more creative avenues of art, they are often still unsure of how to interact with children during art projects.  Feedback tends to be in the form of generic “good jobs” to overused praise such as “I love your picture”.    The problem with “good job” is that the child is unsure what they did that was “good”.  The “I love your picture” praise also is problematic.  When we tell children how much we love what they did, the children tend to become praise junkies.  They develop a high need to get approval on what they did from an adult.  You may be struggling right now thinking that this is the type of feedback you give children during art.  If these techniques are not the best, then what should you say? Here are some tips to help you become a pro at interacting with children during process-oriented art experiences:

Focus on the process:

Since the process is more important in the artwork than the end product, comment on what the children are doing.

  • “That is an interesting pattern, how did you make it?”
  • “I see some different colors here, how did you decide what colors to use and where to use them?”
  • “I saw you were having a hard time getting the pieces to stick together, what finally worked?”

Discuss  and explore the materials:

Having a variety of art materials available for the children to use inspires the children to be creative.  Sometimes the children are unsure about what the materials can be used for.  Consider talking with them about different types of materials and how they could use the materials in their artwork.

  • “What type of material is this? What could we use it for?”
  • “Today we are going to use finger paint. How is the finger paint different from the paint we normally use? How does it feel?”
  • “We have tape, bottle glue and a glue stick, what might work best to stick your materials together?”

Interact during each step of their art making session:

Each step of the art making session provides for opportunities to talk with the children, inspire and enhance their ideas.

  • In the beginning ask the children what they plan on making, what materials they may need, and what their first steps will be.
  • While the children work, focus on what they are doing, what problems they may be having, and how they solved the problems.
  • After they have completed their masterpiece have the child describe their artwork. What did they enjoy about making the artwork? Ask the child if they want to display their artwork in the classroom or take it home.

Finally, if you are ever at a loss for words when a child shows you his/her artwork, one of the best things to say is “Tell me about your picture”.

Teaching to the Brain

We’ve all heard of teaching to the test, and we all know that this strategy has no long-term success for children’s learning. Instead, I suggest “teaching to the brain”….using what we know about how the brain develops to influence what we do in our classrooms. During the first five years of life, the brain develops at a rapid speed. Although the brain can be trained to memorize pieces of information, true learning and understanding comes from experiences that are tailored to the way the brain develops during these important years. So how can you apply what we know about the developing brain in connection to plan appropriate environments and experiences for young children that maximize the foundation for later learning? Here are 9 Brain-Based teaching strategies.

  1. Build Healthy Relationships
    Healthy development depends on the quality and reliability of a young child’s relationships with the important people in his or her life, both within and outside the family. Children who have positive relationships with their teachers are more excited about learning, more positive about coming to school, more self-confident, and achieve more in the classroom.
  2. Promote Communication
    Just as children want to connect with us, they want to communicate with us. There’s a very predictable pattern to language development, and it happens pretty quickly. Have extended discourse with children, go beyond the here and now in your conversations, and use sophisticated vocabulary.
  3. Encourage Curiosity and Creativity
    Exploratory behavior and creativity is a talent that is highly prized in the working world. That’s because good ideas make money. Children are naturally inquisitive. They are naturally curious and creative. Unfortunately, they learn from school that teachers value right answers more than provocative questions, so they learn to stop asking questions. Use open ended materials, ask thought-provoking questions, allow for trial and error and problem solving, and allow a lot of time for exploration.
  4. Value Play
    Play is the highest form of research (Albert Einstein). Direct instruction really can limit young children’s learning. Teaching is a very effective way to get children to learn something specific—this tube squeaks, say, or a squish then a press then a pull causes the music to play. But it also makes children less likely to discover unexpected information and to draw unexpected conclusions. Play is important. Play is how we learn.
  5. Improve Executive Function Skills
    Executive functions lay the groundwork for school success. Executive functions are a better predictor of academic success than IQ. Children who are behind their peers in these skills show more aggression, have difficulty getting along with others, are disruptive in class, and are slower to master academic skills in school.
  6. Plan for Physical Activity
    Voluntary gross motor activities, such as games, running, dance, and other active movements wire the brain to make more efficient connections. This supports later academic learning. We should be encouraging more, not less, physical activity in our classrooms.
  7. Develop and Teach Emotional Intelligence
    Human beings have an incredible ability to display many emotions, but only six of them are built in at birth. Unless children are taught these emotional states early (ages 0-3), when they enter school, they’ll be emotionally narrow. Teach children to recognize their own emotions, those of others, and how to manage their own emotional states.
  8. Practice Stress-Relief
    Chronic stress is a very real issue at schools for both staff and students. Recent studies suggest 30-50% of all students felt moderately or greatly stressed every day. For those from poverty, the numbers can be higher. Teach children better coping skills, offer them predictability, social support, and control over some of their choices.
  9. View Differences as the Norm
    Don’t expect children to be ready to learn the same thing at the same time. This contradicts research that says all children have different rates of brain maturation. Celebrate the unique differences, abilities, talents, and interests that children bring to your classroom.

Does much of this sound like good DAP (developmentally appropriate practice)? Yes! That’s because developmentally appropriate practice is based on what we know about the developing brain and the developing child. What are ways that you put these strategies into practice in your environment?